"His delusion is preferable to the actuality of the situation."

Brooklyn, I wish you were here.

I am sitting in the sun in my parents' backyard, the dog under the table. I'm working on my children's book proposal and drinking coffee, so glad to be here and alone except for the dog. But still: I wish you were here. It's just so fucking beautiful, and so quiet, and so nice. I am getting so much done--all I can hear is the sharp buzz of whatever insect goes all summer days making that sharp buzz. It was chilly yesterday, cold at night. And this morning: chilly too. But now the sun is warm, almost hot, and I am evening out my A-shirt tan so I don't a) look weird in my bridesmaid dress or b) have to get a spray tan.

Last night Schnipper and I went to see OAR play at the Burlington waterfront. OAR is a band we liked in high school--back then they were also in high school, white boy hippie kids playing reggae-inspired jam-band music. Now they are 30-year-old clean-cut white boys still claiming to be the revolution, playing to 30-year-old clean-cut white boys still claiming to be the revolution. There were no people of color and so many dreadlocks. But: it was so fun. It was fun to see the hippies of our youths grown up and there with their kids. It was fun to see hippie women dancing with hula hoops. It was fun to hear "One for three, two for five," called over and over. It was fun to watch the dynamics of a group of straight people who seemed to be swingers. It was fun to track the movements of a beautiful boy we were calling "our hoodie boyfriend." It was fun to feel like my high school self was accessible without regressing. By the end of the night, my foot hurt bad and my back hurt bad and I felt old and like my high school self was long-gone, but: those few minutes with her were awesome.

Tonight Nas and Damian Marley are playing in the same venue, and though we want to go, it seems like my body just can't handle it. We'll see, though. It's hard to pass up the lake and the summer and the Schnip, especially when I've been without all three for so long.

And: I wish you were here.